I started martial arts due to self confidence at a very low point, am not going into details of why, but the rest is not very exciting history. At my black belt grading I was mildly reprimanded by a 9th Dan for using too much force in one of sparring bouts. So haven’t learnt that much so far.
At the moment I don’t see a male/female distinction in my own practice, either using more direct force or less direct force – some see that as male/female mostly related to Asian philosophy and traditional societal rules.
Unnecessary force is not better or worse physically if it’s man2woman, man2man, woman2man, woman2woman we all have anatomy which is affected.
Spiritually, psychologically, socially more complex of course and what leads myself and others to lose self-control. I didn’t start tkd to go and beat up (physically, emotionally) men, women or children but not going to pretend fighting doesn’t evoke reactions and there are many people who don’t do martial arts who will beat up others anyway. Don’t know where this will all end up but I’m going to play my tiny role in consciously sorting myself out because others more senior than me have been kind enough to help. Time to pay back.